“Remember that just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.”- Robert Downey Jr.
It's time to start talking about addiction. The chances are pretty great that either you or someone you know suffers from some type of addiction. For me it is gambling. My last bet was on January 13th, 2023. Addiction is an insidious disease. While the type of addicition may differ there are many similarities all addicts have in common.
Growing up I saw first hand the dangers of alcohol addiction on both sides of my family. I vowed to myself to never let alcohol destroy me. However, as I was guarding against alcohol (I have never had a drink of alcohol since my 21st birthday), gambling launched a sneak attack. Having been clean for over year I still have never fully understood what lead me to gamble in the first place and I am fine with knowing that I may never know. But by taking life one day at a time I know that I can work to never fall into that black hole again.
Gambling for me started out as just a fun hobby. Be it playing fantasy sports or just betting on a baseball game here or there. But in time it grew to be an obsession and finally a full blown addiction. With the advent of online gambling I could easily pull out my phone and place a bet on a game or play a quick hand of blackjack. Being an introvert, this was perfect for me as I didn't have to leave my house (I have been to an actual casino twice in my life). As this blog progresses I plan on delving more into gambling and its role in society. I do not hold it against any one who does gamble, but for me it is a no go. Gambling progressed quickly from that small hobby, meant to kill time, to a something I spent almost all day doing. I just had to continue doing it even if I was not enjoying it, I could not stop. Studies have shown that gambling can cause the same neurological reaction in the brain as drugs. I 100% believe that because when I deposited money into my account to begin a gambling binge it was the greatest feeling in the world. But once that money was inevitably gone I crashed and fell into a dark place.
The problem with gambling addiction that sets it apart from other addictions is that there is no outward signs necessarily. It is easier to hide gambling then it is alcohol or drugs because you care not "intoxicated" and your actions or not compromised. This is why I was able to go on so long without anyone knowing. However, gambling addiction is just as devastating as alcohol or drug addiction. I took out so many loans to cover losses (many at sky high interest rates, but more on that later) that I lost count. By the time I was getting denied for loans I was thousands of dollars in debt and hated myself. It didn't matter that I had a good paying job, all my money went to cover those payments and if I had anything left it went to gambling because I thought I could win it all back. Many times I was gambling while driving, gambling right before bed, gambling when I woke up, and gambling when I was supposed to be working. I never did win that money back and thank God I hit rock bottom and decided to get help. I attend Gamblers Anonymous on a weekly basis and in the beginning spoke with a therapist. Being able to have a community (Gamblers Anonymous) of like minded people to discuss my gambling issues with is a God send.
Help is out there! Whatever addiction you are suffering from you can stop if you put your mind to it and get the necessary assistance.
What addiction do you battle? What has helped you stay clean? Feel free to discuss below.
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